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Humor:

Cartoons Links
(click on the thumbnail image to view the source cartoon)

After the Wise Men left, then came the Three Politically Correct Guys

The Spirit of the Season, Gold, Frankincense, & Tickle Me Elmo

What's that? Hopefully a light to the next sale...

What I'd really like for my birthday is peace on earth and good will toward all.

..Okay people, it's time to pack 'er up.

Here's wishing you a non-offensive, secular, all inclusive politically correct December twenty fifth...

This used to be a Christian Holiday! - Pat Bagley

*** Merry Designermas - Jeff Parker

** PC Police - John Darkow

PC Christmas - Cam Cardow

I said "Christmas"

 

Jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with Sherlock Holmes?
A: Santa Clues

Q: Which burns longer; a green candle or a red candle?
A: Neither, the both burn shorter.

Q: What sort of ball does not bounce?
A: A snowball

Q: How do snowmen travel around?
A: By icicle

Videos

Advent Conspiracy
     Christmas can [still] change the world. - www.adventconspiracy.org

Merry Tossmas 2008 Video w/ Stuart Shepard
     It's "Tossmas" time again. Stuart Shepard politely asks retailers to please at least acknowledge the name of the holiday that falls on Dec. 25. Otherwise, their catalogs may meet an unfortunate end. - CitizenLink.com

Go Fish Guys! www.YouTube.com Video
     Christmas with a Capital "C" video, song from their Christmas cd SNOW.

Merry Tossmas Video w/ Stuart Shepard
     Toss those Happy Holiday Catalogs - CitizenLink.com

Stories

Who Started Christmas?

This morning I heard a story on the radio of a woman who was out Christmas shopping with her two children.  After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.  She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year.  Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.  Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the car.  She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."  From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond, "Don't worry we already crucified him." For the rest of the trip down the elevator it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.  Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word.  If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.

A couple of Muscovites

Way back in the 60s, before Moscow became a modern, throbbing city, when life was hard and pleasures simple, people used to go out for relaxing evening strolls. One cold winter's night, a couple of Muscovites were walking down the street, when the man felt something splash on his nose. "I think it's raining." he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me." she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain." he said.

Well, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing, when they saw a communist party official walking towards them. "Let's not fight about it," the said man, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course!" he replied, and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "Well that certainly felt like snow to me!"

The man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Quotes & Phrases

Christ in Christmas makes Happy Holidays! - Unknown

--------

"Christmas began in the heart of God.  It is complete only when it reaches the heart of man." - Anonymous

--------

Poems

 

Roses are reddish

Violets are bluish

If it weren't for Christmas

We'd all be Jewish - Benny Hill

 

Roses are red

Violets are blue

No Happy Holidays

Only Merry Christmas to you! - Kelsey Branch

 

You Can't Steal My **CHRISTMAS**

Poem by Sharon Steege

 

I don't know who they are
Saying I can't greet the crowd
The way that I want
Can't say **CHRISTMAS** out loud.

I walk into a business place
See things that I'd rather not see
But dare I not say **CHRISTMAS**
And ask for a "holiday" tree.

What happened to freedom of speech
And living in the land of the free
How can they take my **CHRISTMAS** money
But can't say **MERRY CHRISTMAS** to me.

Men and women have given their lives
So we could still go free
I wonder how they would feel
At saying HOLIDAY TREE.

 

Come on AMERICA let's wake up
Don't let our freedom escape
If they get by with doing this
What else will they take.

This is starting to get out of hand,
And I've begun to keep track
Well I've just about had enough
I'M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK.*
 

So MERRY CHRISTMAS AMERICA**
I hope this gets all over the net
If we all stand united and take freedom back
'Twill be our best  CHRISTMAS YET!

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!

 

How the "Left" Stole Christmas

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.

See the PC Police had taken away
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a " Holiday ".
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
..
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!

 


Notice: This web-page is still being prepared.

Once we obtain permission from the authors, we have some great cartoons that will be available here or that we will link to.  If you have a cartoon or a funny Christmas story, please contact us.

 

Did you know that the main colors of Christmas are red and green. The red symbolizes the blood that Jesus spilt to redeem us from our sins.  Green has always been the color of life.  The ancient Egyptians used the color green to symbolize the triumph of life over death.  Therefore, green symbolizes the potential for eternal life that Jesus' sacrifice made possible for all of us.  Other colors generally used with red and green are white, sparkling silver and gold.  White symbolizes purity, holiness, and virtue.  Because of its brightness, metallic silver is sometimes uses as an alternate color for white.  God symbolizes what is precious and valuable, and so symbolizes majesty, joy, and celebration.  Because of its brightness, metallic gold also symbolizes the presence of God. Blue symbolizes the sky or heaven, where heralds proclaimed Jesus' birth. 
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